“If a woman is not submissive to a man it is not because she lacks the ability to submit; rather he lacked the ability to create for her a place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees.”
These articles are primarily about what I call lifestyle BDSM, that is, 24/7 BDSM relationships. I write strictly from my personal experience and I write within the framework of the Dominant and submissive dynamic that I am familiar with. Which is to say, a Male Dominant with only female submissives. Hence I tend to use male pronouns in reference to Dominants and female pronouns in reference to submissives. Despite that, most of what I write about can reference BDSM dynamics between any combination of genders or sexual identities. While I think the majority of Dominants are male, a Dominant can certainly be female or gender fluid, and likewise for a submissive or for those who like to switch. My use of gender specific pronouns simply reflects my personal space. Having said that, I am also a firm believer in masculine men and feminine women, in traditional roles.
- The BDSM Boot Camp
A boot camp is a short, intense, rigorous, and focused period of training that has two specific goals: to teach new skills and to instill new habits in place of Continue reading
- Punishment in BDSM and Vanilla Relationships
In modern psychology we almost always talk about punishment in relationships in a negative light. Punishment, usually emotional punishment, causes distancing between partners and occurs when one person tries to Continue reading
- Taken In Hand
Author: A submissives journey Taken in Hand (sometimes abbreviated as TiH) is a neologism that refers to a style of monogamous, heterosexual relationship which is male-led. The female submits to Continue reading
- Videos for the new sub
These video links are presented in no particular order How to Be a Better Submissive [BDSM] 3 Tips on How to Be Submissive Avoiding Sub Frenzy and Advice for New Continue reading
- Red Flags in BDSM
What is a red flag? All of us strive for connection, for finding that someone who “gets us,” for meeting those human beings who are compatible with our own needs, Continue reading
- The Fragrant Dust
Written by: Polly Peachum From the author: I wrote this article in 1988 for one issue of a short-lived print bdsm zine called “The Original Agenda.” This zine was produced Continue reading
- A slaves Daily Affirmation
I am a wonderful and loving slave. I have the strength to submit willfully, my submission is never a weakness to be exploited, and I choose to be a proud Continue reading
- The Healthy Submissive
An Article by Yaldah Tovah, MD “Discipline gives total freedom; it allows you to go beyond your limitations, to break through boundaries and reach the highest goal. The path to Continue reading
- The Vicissitudes of Submissive Development
An Article by Yaldah Tovah, MD In an earlier paper, I highlighted the developmental line that produces a healthy adult heterosexual submissive female (here). I highlighted the role of temperament Continue reading
- The submissive journal
Keeping a journal is one of the most essential, often overlooked, and useful tools that the submissive has at her disposal. While keeping a journal can be a good way Continue reading
- The Traits of a Real Dominant
The BDSM social media world seems to be inundated with hyper-masculine, fake-ass Alpha-male types, who act like douches, run around like players, treat women like crap and call themselves Dominants. Continue reading
- Submissive and slave: Etymology and Usage of the Terms in Lifestyle BDSM
The battle over the terms submissive and slave is an ongoing and never-ending one in the BDSM space; it gets even worse when people from the vanilla world attempt to Continue reading
- The Etiquette of Online BDSM
I spend too much time on Facebook. Family, friends, local news, pages and groups for pretty much any interest, including BDSM, and I spend a lot of time there. I Continue reading
- Ten Rules for submissives
1. Be PatientA potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to Continue reading
- Ten Rules for Dominants
1. Be PatientUntil you enter into a contract with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your bottom time to get Continue reading
- House Rules
Since my last post was on some of the rules that my slaves have to follow in public, I thought I would share some of the rules that they must Continue reading
- Slave Rules in Public
I’ve seen a lot of discussion lately on how slaves and submissives should act in public. And even more questions from people who are new to the lifestyle. Unfortunately, I’ve Continue reading
- BDSM Should be Taught in Sex Education Classes
We really need to normalize teaching about all aspects of sexual behavior to students in sex education classes. We need to teach the basics of BDSM in sex education classes, Continue reading
- Stop Hiding BDSM in the Closet
First, let me start by saying that no one should be forced to stay in the closet or to come out of the closet. Every single human being should be Continue reading
- The Triskelion: Symbol of BDSM
Since the mid-1990’s the BDSM triskelion symbol, as shown on this page, has become the de facto symbol of BDSM culture internationally. The symbol was purposefully designed to be a Continue reading
- So you want to be a slave: The Realities
This is an excellent article on the realities of being a 24/7 slave in a M/s dynamic and written from the perspective of a slave living the lifestyle. It was Continue reading
- Slave Training: Positions
Formal slave training generally begins with some sort of physical training. In the BDSM world, usually this means that we begin with basic position training so that the submissive knows Continue reading
- The Good Wife’s Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way Continue reading
- Introduction to Submission
This is a nice article I ran across while doing some online research. My slave enjoyed it and wanted to share with everyone else. The authors name is Kim Debron Continue reading
- A Note to My Future slave
I sent this letter to my slave shortly before we entered our M/s dynamic formally. There is no greater gift that a woman can give to a man than the Continue reading
- Safety First – Meeting a Potential Partner
I hear some very disturbing stories in the BDSM world from time to time. One of the things that really gets me is how often I hear about a first Continue reading
- Newaza Video by Osada Steve
The Caressing Style of Yukimura Haruki. In 2008, Yukimura Haruki sensei organized a special kinbaku night at a theater in Golden Gai. Several of his students were given the opportunity Continue reading
- The Spirituality of Dominance and Submission
by Terra Bloom Soon after my husband and I discovered BDSM, I was struck by the numerous ways in which sexual submission is similar to actual spiritual practices. The first Continue reading
