We really need to normalize teaching about all aspects of sexual behavior to students in sex education classes. We need to teach the basics of BDSM in sex education classes, not so much the full on D/s side of things, but at least the basics of kink. People need to know that it is normal to want to experiment. People need to know that it is ok to spank your partner if they want it, or that there are safe and unsafe ways to have unconventional sex. We need to be way more open to having these conversations with our children, at least at the high school level.
Kink is never going to go away. With the proliferation of online porn, with the ease of finding even the most extreme forms of entertainment, our teens and young adults have to know at least something about kinky sex. More importantly, we have to build better avenues of communication between adults who are experienced in the BDSM world, particularly those of us who mentor, and the upcoming generations who are just beginning to explore.
I don’t think we need to have full on instruction in BDSM, that’s just taking things a bit too far. But being willing to sit in a class and say, as an example: “Yes, some people like to be choked during sex, but there is a safe way and a wrong way to do it. So before you try it, talk to someone about how to do it safely.” And there should be an avenue of communication where younger and less experienced people can come and ask these questions without being judged – safe spaces for kinky communication. They exist online, they exist in the right communities, but they can be hard to find sometimes. And of particular concern to me are the minors who are experimenting but because of their age they don’t have recourse to those safe spaces. Now, I’m not encouraging them, I honestly believe it’s better to start our sexual adventures a little bit later rather than earlier, but I’m not judging either. Parents should be able and willing to talk to their kids. Teachers should be able and willing to talk to their students. It keeps the kids in a safer environment and away from predators.
It’s not a popular opinion I know, particularly with the fundamentalist crowds. But hey, I’m not advocating for everyone to try kinky sex, just to be aware that for those who want to play, there are safe ways to do so and there should be safe places to learn about it before running off with a partner and trying it. I’m just encouraging and advocating for more education and less trauma-inducing blind experimentation.